Much to my wife’s dismay, I have long said that when I can’t limp from the parking lot into Wal-Mart that my son will take me out and shoot me.

For years I have chided those with knee injuries and joint problems, insisting that they just suck it up and move on.  That probably was never a good position to take considering that my wife has had multiple foot and knee surgeries.

I have prided myself in my ability to keep running and backpacking along with guys fully a third my age.  But, it may be time to take me out and shoot me.

Today, I go to the orthopedic dude to see how bad it is.  It started innocently enough.  My knee started aching a bit while getting back into spring running.  I laid off for a week getting ready for a backpacking trip.  On Wednesday before planning to leave Thursday morning for a 27-mile hike, my knee started killing me.  I limped around the office to the point where I reluctantly called off my backpacking plans.  You don’t know how damaging that was to my pride.

No matter how much pain relief drugs I threw at it, I just had Kodachrome dreams but no pain relief.  I finally had to admit that it was a problem and schedule the visit to the orthopedic guy.

Perhaps it is not as bad as I am prepared for, but this can only signal the beginning of the end.  Maybe I can still backpack.  Running may have to be reevaluated.  My love for food is definitely going to have to be moderated.  Dang, getting old is a pain.  Admitting it is just plain humiliating.

Ms. Natalie finally said it. She’s been patient. But it has been almost a month. I started with a sinus crud after my August canoe adventure. Now, I’m planning a backpacking adventure next week. I still have a nagging cough and sinus drainage left over from the sinus crud.

It was an innocent enough question. “How long have you had that cough now?” The implication was clear. Or, maybe I just read more into it than was there. I’ve been hacking and coughing since I got back from a crazy canoe adventure. And, now I’m planning to go out again. The implication is that I’m about to go out and do something stupid again. Ms. Natalie has never seen the wisdom in sleeping in a tent, carrying a backpack for miles, being eaten by bugs, or being sunburned needlessly.

My approach is to ignore the cough and hope it goes away. It will eventually. But then there is this backpacking trip. And, the weather doesn’t look as if it is going to be extremely cooperative. This could not turn out well.

Nevertheless, Hobbs Cabin is calling. I have an opportunity to take a group of young guys who have not backpacked before. It will be six young guys and two older guys. We’re doing a one-nighter to Hobbs Cabin taking the easy route just to get them acclimated to it.

Hobbs Cabin is one of my favorite spots in all the earth. Even taking the easy route is a seven-mile hike rewarded by a sunset on the ledge. It just don’t get no better than that.

I’m sure I’ll sit on the ledge and my hacking cough will resonate through the valley disturbing wildlife for miles around. But, I’ll need to bounce back pretty quickly. There is another adventure that’s going to take my best shot in October.

Speaking specifically from a guy perspective, a key factor of success in marriage is knowing the boundaries. Some men are trainable; others are not.

I’ve learned Ms. Natalie will tolerate my adventures, but I know there will be no sympathy for illnesses or injuries sustained. Those are the boundaries.

When I headed out last week for a two-day canoe trip, I got the usual list of cautions punctuated with a query about life insurance payments being current.

Unfortunately, I returned with quite a sunburn and the beginnings of a sinus crud. The unique sunburn pattern at least gave proof that I had worn my PFD as she had admonished. It also accentuated my failure to use sunscreen. The following morning, I reluctantly asked her assistance in rubbing aloe on the spots I couldn’t reach. I got the predictable sigh and “silly boy” comment.

The sunburn could be suffered in stoic silence. But, the sinus crud was becoming increasingly obvious as clients, employees and even bank tellers began to express concern for my health. Finally, on the third night, I crawled home willing to admit I was sick and hoped I could suck now some Nyquil and go to bed. Rats, I had killed the last of the Nyquil the last time I was in this condition. I had to settle for Corcidin – not as good as Nyquil for a knockout sleep.

The next morning, Ms. Natalie actually offered to pick up some Nyquil for me on her way home. Wow, she really will throw in some compassion for my adventure damage! After 34 years, I should know that she may is exasperated by my adventures, but she really cares about me coming back in one piece and healthy. She’s a good woman. And, you know what guys, a good woman is hard to find – it says so in Proverbs. When you find one, it’s time to become trainable – even if you are wild at heart.

Over the last several months [let's say from January till now] I have been diligently trying to lose weight.  Part of my diet and exercise routine has been a daily visit to the local YMCA at lunchtime.  I love going to Y for a couple of reasons. It let’s me clear my head from work for a few minutes, it gives me a surge of energy that I’m usually needing to finish my day AND I get to put my earphones in and listen to my mix of praise and worship music for the day on my iPod.  This is one of my favorite parts of the day but it it has also been a  very educational and amusing experience for me as well.

Let me explain…  When working out, especially while doing cardio, I “watch.”  [not in the creepy kind of way, let's just call it "observing" for the sake of argument]  While “observing” there a couple of notes I’ve taken from my fellow Y-goers that I would like mention.

1.  Lifting more weight than you are physically capable of does not make you look cooler. Especially when you grunt, scream or squeal while attempting to lift it.

2.  Just because you are listening to your iPod and can’t hear yourself singing does not mean that those around can’t hear you either.

3.  Talking to others and making friends is great!  However, when talking to someone of the opposite sex,  if you are the only one talking…  they are NOT interested.

4.  It doesn’t help your cause if you try to follow them when they walk away.  That’s creepy.

5.  Yes I CAN smell that and yes I DO know who did it.

6.  Constantly looking at yourself in the mirror does not make you any thinner nor does it make your muscles any bigger.

7.  If the hole where you have cut off the sleeves to your t-shirt is bigger than that of the waist of your shirt, it is not appropriate attire. [for the YMCA or Wal-Mart and especially not in any restaruant]

8.  Staring is not nice and people DO notice.

9.  When the sign says that shoes are required, this does not include sandals. However, in the event that you feel you must wear your sandals with your workout attire, do not complain when something heavy like a WEIGHT falls on your foot.

10.  Failure to wipe your sweat off of the panel of the treadmill, clean up the puddle under the bench press or throw away the paper towel you used to do so is not cool.  [nor is shoving the used paper towel into the cup holder on the eliptical.  It's for cups and water bottles, not your sweat drenched paper towel]

Thanks for humoring me for a moment!

~Dustin